“I went online looking for someone who’d let me stay with them and check out campus,” said Mindy. “The other couples were weird– I thought they were trying to hit on me!” Lexi: “Look at all this underwear! What exactly do you wanna do this weekend?”

“I’ve never heard anyone break up with a boyfriend like that,” said Lexi. “Have you ever been with a woman before?” Christina: “I guess I’ve thought about it. But my parents would kill me if they found out!” “Don’t worry,” said Lexi. “We won’t tell!”

“It just started stalling and going slow,” said Krystal. “My cell phone is dead too!” Michelle: “I’m surprised nobody wanted to help a cute girl like you! Maybe you should have started flashing drivers! You can flash us!”

Ruby: “My roommate’s using the washer, so I had to go to the laundromat.” Ethan: “What would you say to… maybe giving me a blowjob for your audition tape?” Ruby: “What about your wife?” Ethan: “Oh, she’s more than fine with it!”

“You were supposed to be here this morning, now it’s almost five PM,” said Joe. “We can’t pay you for painting now.” “I know what you can do for us, though,” added Veronica. “You can suck my husband’s cock!”

“You don’t have a boyfriend?” asked Michelle. “How long has it been since you’ve had sex?” “It’s been at least a couple of months,” said Sammie. “But I thought you guys were just going to show me your rose bushes!”

“There’s no way to replace what you broke,” said Veronica. “I think we’re going to have to tell your boss. There’s nothing else we can do, unless…maybe you can take care of some of our other needs?” Lorena: “I’ve never done that before!”